How a Go-Pro Made Me Re-Evaluate My Life Choices.
I bought a Go-Pro. Today I thought it was a great idea to put the chest harness on my five-year-old. I thought it would see the world from my children’s perspective.
Boy, did I.
What I saw made me sad. It made me so annoyed with myself. I saw watching the footage from my boys level. My face looked annoyed, even though I was not mainly. I sounded mad, and I have no idea why. I had a scowl on my face, and my posture was hunched, which for a retired ballet dancer was quite shocking. I looked at myself through the eyes of my children, and I didn’t like what I saw.
All night it bothered me. How did this happen? I’d been through a lot personally in the last few years, but I didn’t realise how badly it had affected me. I thought that I was portraying myself as I always had, that the pain I had felt internally wasn’t noticeable.
I looked like shit! My backyard looked like a rubbish tip, and the house was a mess. I had no idea how or when it had happened.
So, where to now?
Distractions had to go first. Bye Facebook! I deleted all the non-essential apps on my phone and iPad. I looked at myself and my house critically and made notes of what needed doing. I felt stressed, and like I never had time to get everything done. But what was I doing with my time? I had absolutely no idea.
- Realising I had a massive problem — the most challenging step of all. I had to take a good, confronting and critical look at where I was going so wrong. I was dressing terribly because I felt terrible, which made me look terrible, making me feel more awful. Vicious cycle. The same was true for my home.
- I was getting out my notepad (or in my paper-free life my iPad) and making lists. Lots of lists. Start with checklists for each room, then highlight the things I needed help with. I put an asterisk next to the things that I need to develop routines to keep them from happening again. Keep writing, keep the list in your pocket and keep adding every time you think of something.
- Enlist help. Calling for help from friends or family is the second most challenging part, for me anyway, because I HATE asking for help. But it is a natural and necessary evil to rely on others occasionally.
- Get to work. Start ticking boxes.
- I high-fived myself when I accomplished every bit because it takes guts and effort to realise you are being a lazy slob and making changes.
Hopefully, I am not the only self-admitting slob who needs to kick themself in the butt sometimes.
Comment below. What are your best motivational tips for stay at home Mums who sometimes drop the ball?